Heir Mail #7: Anna Delvey's getting out of prison, bay-bee!
Drink-driving, the horses of NXIVM, and Mr. Oh.
Hello! You’re reading HeirMail, the only newsletter to come from me (hi) setting a Google Alert for the word “heiress” and then just writing about whatever pops up.
This week, some possibly familiar names pop up, have birthdays, be fake, sell shit, post on Insta, eat hot chip etc.
CTRL+F to jump right to:
A Smirnoff gets wasted and drives around in England (well, a Smirnova)
Iconic fake heiress Anna Delvey aka Anna Sorokin says sorryyyyy
The possible (but seemingly not probable) girlfriend of BTS’s Jungkook is involved in some dark Instagrams
NXIVM’s Clare Bronfman puts her horse house up for sale
From the rest of the Alert: Ghislaine Maxwell, Kaila Methven, Francesca Packer Barham, Tamara Eccelstone, Nicola Peltz, Paris and Nicky Hilton
“Smirnoff vodka heiress accused of driving Porsche three times over legal alcohol limit,” The Evening Standard
Before we can even proceed: “A Smirnoff vodka heiress is accused of drink driving her Porsche through Kensington at the start of the second coronavirus lockdown.”
Apparently, according to Quora, Forum.WordReference.com, and a Blogspot by an American Linguist in the UK called “Separated by a Common Language,” they do.** It may be a clever attempt to get Brits who insist they’re not intoxicated after a few to think about the drinks and not their effect (see also the official US term “driving while intoxicated”), it may be a quirk of the grammar, but it’s a thing, according to this rabbit hole I went down for a bit.
Marinika Smirnova’s mom is a Soviet gymnast champion named Elena Kolesnikova — although most of what I can find about her career on the English-speaking internet is about being Marinika’s mother. On her father’s side, The Evening Standard says, her great uncle is Pierre Smirnoff, “one of the famous Smirnoff brothers who were official suppliers of Smirnoff Vodka to the Court of Emperor Nicholas II.”
This is a little confusing; there’s not as much information as I’d assume and something Russian eludes me. According to the Smirnoff site, the company was founded by P.A. Smirnov in 1864. And Wikipedia says that the “P” here stands for Pyotr, not Pierre. P.A. — seemingly without any brother involved — died in 1898, only four years after Emperor Nicholas the II’s reign began, and was succeeded by whom the site calls his “third son” Vlad, who took the brand to Poland after a 1914 dry law was imposed. It’s there in 1923 that Vlad establishes “Pierre Smirnoff Sons.” So presumably… Vlad is Pierre, not Pyotr? Marinika is 38, so, just to do the math. Plus, there’s virtually nothing I can easily find about her father, Evgeniy Smirnov, and be sure I’m talking about the right guy.
Today, the Smirnoff brand is owned by British alcohol company Diageo, which was the biggest distiller in the world until 2017.
Anyways, the trouble this time was that Marinika got tanked and did donuts around her fancy London neighborhood. She blew three times the legal limit; said she “had a few glasses of wine.” She’s been around the British tabloid scene before — in 2013 she was on a reality show called Meet the Russians, and in 2018 “stood trial over an alleged plot to steal an ex-partner’s valuables.” Supposedly she hired someone to pose as law officer and raid her ex’s apartment, but she was found not guilty when a key witness bailed. Solid mess, this will earn her plenty of heiress points, whatever those are.
Heiress points: Slightly obscured but historic family legacy, 30 points. Utilizing the product to dangerous excess, 15 points. Making a mess in a fancy part of town, 25 points. Multiple run-ins with police, 20 points. Getting away with it, priceless? 90 points!
**Regular person points: That linguist’s name is Lynne and her handle is @Lynneguist. Maybe that delights you, as it does me! 10,000,000 points to Lynne.
Estimated net worth: $17 million according to People Ai but $1-5million from PopularBio.com. It could be anything! Pierre could be anyone!
“Fake heiress Anna Sorokin finally says sorry: ‘A lot of people suffered,’” New York Post
“Fake heiress Anna Sorokin told a parole board she is 'really ashamed' and 'sorry' for her theft scheme, report says,” Insider
No one has more clearly expressed the value of the mere idea of inherited wealth better than Anna Delvey, who I am not particularly interested in calling by her real name (it’s Sorokin). As every headline about her implies, Anna was the not-so-real heiress who took the media by storm in 2018 when her exploits in defraudery were revealed. She got by on aloofness, European confusion, and a name that no one even really knew. An indictment of New York society, walking around in fancy streetwear! If you love mess, she ruled.
As all these articles note, after her arrest, Delvey told the Times: “The thing is, I’m not sorry. I’d be lying to you and to everyone else and to myself if I said I was sorry for anything.” I’m not sorry to say this is a very enjoyable thing for someone to say on their way to jail! Going for it! Unrepentant should be the name of a pop album!
Now she says she’s sorry and “really ashamed.” Probably wise, and maybe even human growth if it’s real (and why even assume it’s not? it’s Christmas!) but kind of a let down for those of us who were absolutely forced to stan. In response, the parole board said cool, you can get out in February. That’s quite soon!
Anna’s already consulting with Netflix on her own story — which I thought was illegal but who knows, it’s paying her debts— and she wants to be a writer. Which like, don’t bother, you have a talent! If I could scam I wouldn’t do anything else.
Heiress points: For aloofness, European confusion, and a name that no one even really knew, 300 points. For it all being fake, 300 points. For not being sorry, 300 points. For later being sorry, -300 points. For parlaying the whole mess into streaming, 300 points. 900 points!
Estimated net worth: Well, nothing. But her fake number was supposed to be $60 million, according the prosecutor of her case. And she swindled some rich people and some personal trainers out of about $275,000.
“Who is Hwang Ha Na? Namyang Dairy Heiress and Kpop Star's Ex-Girlfriend Attempts Suicide; Death Note Blames Mr Oh,” International Business Times
Hwang Ha Na is the granddaughter of Hong Doo Young, the founder of Namyang Dairy, one of Seoul’s largest milk providers. It seems like she’s mostly in the news for one real big reason: K-Pop adjacency.
She used to date Park Yoochun, who was in the bands JYJ and TVXQ, and the two were accused of doing meth together. But worse, she’s recently been suspected of dating BTS’s Jungkook. BTS! The letters you probably already know! The stans have been vocal. This is, I’m sure, terrifying, no matter how much yogurt your grandpa’s sold.
And then there’s the latest news: on December 17th, IBT reports, she posted a picture of a slashed wrist with a caption that said "XXX Call me, XXX," and instructed someone to pay her back for a stolen car worth nearly 365,000 USD. Later, she deleted the post and refused to explain. The next day, “one of her close friends” posted on social that heiress had tried to commit suicide, and her note had repeatedly mentioned a “Mr. Oh.”
Some slightly newer and less reputable sources I found while trying to figure this all out say she had a boyfriend who died — because she’s a murderer. Oh! That’s what the baffling Russian Instagram post below says when translated, sourcing the rumor to “netizens,” which seems to be stan-speak for “people who say whatever the fuck they want to.”
A netizen says “I just can't imagine how many lives have been destroyed because of her,” according to this account with 47 followers | @kpop_tyumen’s IG
I absolutely cannot explain this further; I so wish I could. I do not know why an upsetting post would get a car back, I have no clue who Mr. Oh could possibly be, murder is… a quite an accusation. My dumb ass can’t even find her Instagram.
IBT specifically said she’s an Instagram influencer, but doesn’t link. (WTH!!) I suspect she’s changed her handle at least once, as the one I found listed in this old Koreaboo article has just 2,400 followers and is locked. If you type her name as a hashtag in Insta (I got desperate), you’ll see posts about her in just every language: Spanish, Indonesian, French, Russian. I figure her IG is information that literally countless teenagers all around the world have access to, but I, a professional adult journalist, am giving up trying to find.
I did find a Twitter thread on her “powerful family connections” that supposes her mother is the heir (not her dad) and her parents are divorced. Maybe! IDK! All of this might be written by 11 year olds with an axe to grind! This is as scary to wade into as the Rothschilds!
Heiress points: Dating or maybe dating 2020’s most desirable bachelor type: K-Pop Superstar, 100 points. A pricey car, 25 points. Drama I can’t even understand, 75 points probably! 200 points!
Estimated net worth: Her uncle is estimated at $271 million, according to The Investor from The Korea Herald.
“Upstate New York Equestrian Estate of Seagram Heiress Clare Bronfman Lists for Nearly $5 Million,” Mansion Global
“Horse estate of NXIVM heiress on sale for $5M in Knox,” Times Union
Before Clare Bronfman was giving her family’s money to Keith Raniere as part of the long, messed up production process for HBO’s hit show The Vow, she was an horse girl.
Clare was a serious equestrian, placing 7th in the 2001 World Final of the Samsung Nations Cup Series for jumping. She gave that up to be close to a repellant little volleyball fanatic who landed her in jail. You know, you watched the show, don’t lie. She wasn’t even one of his favored girlfriends, it’s all ugh.
Now, she’s selling her “horse estate" for $5 million and there are Zillow pics. To the stables!
Clare Bronfman’s stables, for sale. | Zillow
The rest of the house is just cavernous, with big columns and nine million acres. It’s grand with lousy interiors. The rooms are so big that the giant beds look tiny. Oh Clare. Clare Clare.
Heiress points: Rich person “career,” 75. Giving that up for a man, 15 points. Stuffy taste interiors, so rich person, 30 points. Cult!!!! 125. 245 points!
Estimated net worth: More than $200 million, according to Distractify and her bond hearing, but maybe up to $500 million according to CelebrityNetWorth.com. (Clare was bonded out at $100 mil, making Ghislaine’s $30 million look like, pffft.)
From the rest of the Alert
Speaking of, happy belated birthday to Ghislaine Maxwell. She turned 59 on Christmas in jail and, according The Sun, celebrated with socks, peanuts, and turkey, although she’s vegan, which leaves the peanuts and the socks, depending on their material. Presumably she got a visit from her husband, Scott Borgerson, since her lawyers told the court this week that she only ever discussed divorce to protect him, and thus he should be considered a strong tie between her and the community.
Yahoo ran a story called “15 Heirs and Heiresses Getting Rich Off Family Money,” thanks Yahoo.
“KFC” heiress Kaila Methven pops back up following the Lifetime movie-ad she hated. She posted an Instagram of herself in lingerie “flipping the bird” as both she and Fox News’s headline say. It turns out she’s been referring to herself as a KFC heiress since at least 2019, as per this Daily Mail article that uses the same descriptor. It’s about photoshoot where she had real diamonds glued to her nips. She’s also a fashion designer who created a $1.5 million bra — no word on what that means — and whose designs have been seen on “the entire cast of ‘The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.’” MEAWW says her family is worth $600 million dollars?
Daily Mail has a sort of overview of Francesca Packer Barham this week, even though there seems to be no news about her, detailing her past boyfriends, her real estate holdings, her philanthropy work, and whose Instagrams she’s been liking. (A man with a blond beard, if you’re into that.)
Tamara Eccelstone went skiing, and posted a picture of her children kissing on Instagram. I still find her kind of whatever, but not even in a rude way. Side note: the Mirror lists her net worth at £232million, which is about $308 million US, while I’ve previously listed her at $300million. She’s getting richer! (Or these numbers are totally made up.)
Australian mining heiress Bianca Rinehart is battling her mother in court over who owns an iron ore. Accusations have been made and I understand none of them! It’s the kind of dense corporate nonsense that I’m real psyched to try to unravel some weeks, but this week, nah.
The Daily Mail says Nicola Peltz and Victoria’s son Brooklyn Beckham have been “forced to spend Christmas apart due to UK's coronavirus travel ban.” Considering how the very wealthy move through the pandemic this seems unlikely, but Brooklyn’s been with mum and dad in the Cotswolds while Nicola’s on some beach somewhere. Sometime soon we’ll look into what Nicola’s dad Nelson has gotten into in his life; it seems wild.
Paris Hilton kisses her boyfriend while Nicky looks on, hot husband wisely nowhere to be seen.